Thursday, September 18, 2008
The spark. The spark. It is definitely still there.
After a while of not seeing him. After the recovery from all the heartaches he caused, the unbearable pain he let me feel. After collecting buckets of tears. I got to see him again. In the hospital. Unexpectedly.
It was odd though. I didn’t feel any pain. Just that tingling of nerves, excitement. He smiled. That smile I used to see everyday way back college. I smiled too. And for a moment, the world stopped. I became conscious of his stare but it’s not like he’s going to eat me alive or so whatever. It is that stare, that sweet stare that used to make me want to kiss him.
He sat beside me. So close that his arm could actually wrestle mine. My heart raced. We were still for a while. I could hear him breathe. The silence between us was deafening. I gazed blankly at nowhere. He did too. And then, blah blah. He finally spoke. It was not on my list to talk to him but it’s awkward not to respond. And yes, we talked.
Moments passed, he took me to this place, the place where we used to eat when we were still schooling. He ordered the same dish. I felt like Im back in the year 2006. Our continuous talk was fun. It was like our first day out together. Seeing him again was like seeing him for the first time. I can’t feel that hurt I felt a few months earlier, whenever I look at his face. He hadn’t change. Physically. He hadn’t change. The way he talk, he laugh. The way he delivers his comic stories, a desperate comedian. And I don’t know but that was one of the things I liked about him. He always tries to put a smile on my face.
We came back to the hospital. He started teasing me. I should be annoyed for he kept pushing me while I was seated, but I wasn’t. In fact, I found it sweet. He used to do that in college, the bullying thing. He does that when he wants your attention.
I wanted to stay for a bit longer but my angel told me to go home for he will notice that I still long for him when I don’t. And that would just hurt. Hurt a lot.
I bid farewell to his parents, hoping I could see them again. I love them. I really do, for they played a big part in my life. I bid him goodbye. A cold, lonely goodbye. I wanted to hug him but my guts expectantly shrank for I know it was off beam. When will we see each other again? No one knows. I just hold on to what his dad told us, "You may not realize it right now, but you two are really meant for each other".
After a while of not seeing him. After the recovery from all the heartaches he caused, the unbearable pain he let me feel. After collecting buckets of tears. I got to see him again. In the hospital. Unexpectedly.
It was odd though. I didn’t feel any pain. Just that tingling of nerves, excitement. He smiled. That smile I used to see everyday way back college. I smiled too. And for a moment, the world stopped. I became conscious of his stare but it’s not like he’s going to eat me alive or so whatever. It is that stare, that sweet stare that used to make me want to kiss him.
He sat beside me. So close that his arm could actually wrestle mine. My heart raced. We were still for a while. I could hear him breathe. The silence between us was deafening. I gazed blankly at nowhere. He did too. And then, blah blah. He finally spoke. It was not on my list to talk to him but it’s awkward not to respond. And yes, we talked.
Moments passed, he took me to this place, the place where we used to eat when we were still schooling. He ordered the same dish. I felt like Im back in the year 2006. Our continuous talk was fun. It was like our first day out together. Seeing him again was like seeing him for the first time. I can’t feel that hurt I felt a few months earlier, whenever I look at his face. He hadn’t change. Physically. He hadn’t change. The way he talk, he laugh. The way he delivers his comic stories, a desperate comedian. And I don’t know but that was one of the things I liked about him. He always tries to put a smile on my face.
We came back to the hospital. He started teasing me. I should be annoyed for he kept pushing me while I was seated, but I wasn’t. In fact, I found it sweet. He used to do that in college, the bullying thing. He does that when he wants your attention.
I wanted to stay for a bit longer but my angel told me to go home for he will notice that I still long for him when I don’t. And that would just hurt. Hurt a lot.
I bid farewell to his parents, hoping I could see them again. I love them. I really do, for they played a big part in my life. I bid him goodbye. A cold, lonely goodbye. I wanted to hug him but my guts expectantly shrank for I know it was off beam. When will we see each other again? No one knows. I just hold on to what his dad told us, "You may not realize it right now, but you two are really meant for each other".
;;
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